Well, therapy.
I sat on my ass for 2 months asking myself "why aren't I working out?" That was an easy answer, MD Anderson said not to do anything until they said okay. We asked, Liz and I, more than once for a timeline on that before we left. I've trained a little, I know how fast you begin to lose muscle mass and how quickly unused muscle and tendons atrophy. I know in my heart waiting is bad for me. But I do it anyway.
After several attempts at getting e-mail and phone calls from Liz to MDA returned, I jump on their FB page and tell them, "Since I was dismissed from the hospital, it's as if I didn't exist. I need to get cleared for PT and other rehab, but no calls or e-mails are returned. It's as if once you leave the grounds, you're kicked to the curb.". That started a turd storm. The FB administrators asked for my phone number, and after telling them that I couldn't speak, but my wife would love to, I gave them her number and e-mail address. Within 24 hrs we had calls from more than one Dr.. I was set up with PT and Speech/Language therapy. Amazing what a true statement, placed in a public forum can do for you.
Physical therapy. I've had some pain before, I set my own broken fingers and toes and the like. My surgery sites hurt to some amount all the time. I ain't never hurt that bad in one spot in my life. Even rehabbing my torn bicep tendon didn't hurt that bad. My PT Barb would say, "If it's too painful tell me and we'll stop". No way I'm admitting it's too painful, right? Bullshit, I said it was more than once! Most of it was stretching already shrunken muscle and tendons. I still fight that a lot, but in the beginning it was a major pain. For reals.
To start, I couldn't raise both hand over my head at the same time. I can now, not like I could before, but the strength is slowly coming back. My chest where my pec was is tight all the time, the scar tissue doesn't seem to want to loosen up as fast as I would like. As fast as I would like would be, you know, yesterday. My left side is about useless as far as I can tell, my PT's tell me other wise. I find myself hung up on "Yeah? Well I used ta could...". As soon as I lose that attitude I do better, but I find myself wandering back there. Silly bear, that road goes no where.
I'm going back to the gym. 3 times a week, unless the pain knocks me down too far to get up. I find that I tend to way intense, which isn't good I'm sure.
Speech and Swallow therapy. Oh, the shit we take for granted. Like swallowing. It's natural, right? Don't even have to think about it, right? Wrong!!! I have to struggle to swallow anything. And sometimes, like when I was writing
this blog, I choke and cough so hard I throw up. Which means my sinuses fill because I don't have a soft palate. I cough so hard I can't see, which makes it a pain to make it to the head before I barf. I seldom make it, which means cleaning up a mess. Dammit
I found I couldn't speak at all. Well, a little, but no one could understand what I said. Talk about frustration on steroids. Not only did it piss me off, I could see the anguish in my families eyes as they struggled to understand me. I finally just quit. I text or wrote on my board. Yes, it was the easy way out, but it was less frustrating and my penmanship improved.
My SLP Michelle gave me a list of exercises, that seem silly until you try to do them. They are tough, and tiring. She also works me hard during our meetings, which is also tiring. It also works. Even when to some people it looks like we are horsing around, we are working. I gave my bud Barry Atkins one of the exercises to try, you all might as well try it too. Stick your tongue out, hold it with your teeth, and try to swallow. It's a bear to do. It's also my throat, with no base of tongue my tongue won't move back to help get a swallow started. Prior to SLP therapy I could swallow nothing. Now I can most of my saliva, and even some ice cream. It ain't much, but it was the world to me when that started.
Okay, the choking, coughing, throwing up fit has worn my old ass out. Time to TTFN
Take care, kids
